Feature Photo by Jocelyn & Ryan Photography. Knots ‘N Such is a Raleigh wedding planner and florist.
First comes the engagement, then comes the question: I found the groom, now who do I choose to stand alongside me on the happiest day of my life? You don’t want to leave anyone out, but you also want to make sure you emphasize the most important people in your life! So, skip all the head-scratching and ask yourself these 7 questions:
Question #1: How big is your wedding and venue?
First things first, you need to know how big the space is that you’re trying to fit all of your friends in! The venue will likely have some input on this, so contacting them first is always a good idea!
Question #2: Who do I consider to be my family?
Oftentimes close siblings will be included in the bridal party. But what about not-so-close siblings? Or extra close friends who may as well be your siblings? The lines are often blurred, so put some thought into who you truly consider to be your family (and don’t feel obligated to add your second cousin twice removed just because your aunt asked nicely).
Question #3: How responsible and supportive are they?
We all have that friend who we love, but isn’t exactly known as the reliable, responsible one. And some of us have friends who love us, but never got completely on board with the marriage. These friends can be wonderful, but may be better suited as guests, rather than bridesmaids.
Question #4: Does my fiancé have any people he wants to add?
You also have to keep in mind any women your fiancé may want added as a bridesmaid. It could be his sister, it could be his friend who introduced you, it could be his brother’s wife. Regardless, remember to consult with your fiancé to see if he has any input (and maybe make a deal to get your brother in as a groomsman).
Question #5: What do I need and expect from my bridal party?
Your bridal party will be your go to for all kinds of support! Consider what you’ll need from them before finalizing your decision. Maybe you want your level-headed friends to keep you calm, or your fun-loving friends to keep you motivated!
Question #6: What will their situation be around the time of my wedding?
We generally assume that everyone we ask will shriek with excitement and readily accept, but while they may truly want to, sometimes life can get in the way. Has your friend been dealing with an illness, either for herself or a loved one? Maybe one of your friends is struggling financially and taking on extra shifts, and the added expenses of dresses, bachelorette parties and beautification may be more stress than she can handle. Or even a friend who has a baby due to arrive the same month as your wedding! Nevertheless, be mindful of where your friends are in their lives, and maybe just an invitation will do.
Question #7: Where will she be in the next 15 years of my life?
These ladies will be in your wedding photos forever, reminding you of the wonderful day you married your sweetheart and the great company you kept. Can you see them being in your life when you’re looking at your photos on your 15th wedding anniversary? If not, they may be able to help with invitations, greeting guests, or DIY projects. And of course, the more the merrier at the bachelorette party! Good friends now can be great help now, but you want to reserve the spaces in your forever photos for your forever friends.